Mark Bazer is an editor for Tribune Media Services and a freelance writer. He has written for GQ, the Boston Globe, the New York Daily News, the New York Post and other publications, many of which have folded.
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Recent Columns:
November 13, 2008
Let the good times keep rolling
What a glorious week and a half it's been here in Chicago since Barack Obama was elected president and the Obama girls got the dog my parents would never let me have.
October 30, 2008
Putting pants into perspective
Kids, it's said, have a way of putting things in perspective. And I'm here to tell you: It's true!
October 16, 2008
Vote for industry of plastic crap
In less than three weeks, U.S. voters will cast their ballots for the U.S. presidency. For many of us, our No. 1 concern on Nov. 4 will be the economy, specifically what effect the depressed housing market is having on the marriages of husband-and-wife real estate agent teams.
October 2, 2008
Economic crisis: Totally solved
With the financial world turned upside down, the House yet to vote on a government bailout and the U.S. now 95 percent owned by China, it seemed like a good time for another installment of "Ask the Man Who Doesn't Understand the Economy."
September 4, 2008
Dear celebs: Back away from Barack
CHECK IT OUT: Mark Bazer hosts The Interview Show this Friday at 6:30 p.m. at The Hideout (1354 W. Wabansia). $5. His guests are saxophonist Frank Catalano, hip-hop poet Kevin Coval and Blewt! creative director Steve Gadlin.
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 7, 2008
Smoggy vision of Summer Games
In a rousing display of global unity as well as solidarity with China, the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics will commence, sources tell me, with one athlete from every participating country opening a Chinese takeout container filled with smog from his or her homeland. Then, 2,008 doves, in a mass bird protest the likes of which has never been seen, will refuse to be released into the air.
July 24, 2008
A timeless romance—carved into a sidewalk
IRIS I LOVE YOU
July 10, 2008
You don't mess with the Bazer
My father waited 34 years to tell me the news.
November 13, 2008
Let the good times keep rolling
What a glorious week and a half it's been here in Chicago since Barack Obama was elected president and the Obama girls got the dog my parents would never let me have.
October 30, 2008
Putting pants into perspective
Kids, it's said, have a way of putting things in perspective. And I'm here to tell you: It's true!
October 16, 2008
Vote for industry of plastic crap
In less than three weeks, U.S. voters will cast their ballots for the U.S. presidency. For many of us, our No. 1 concern on Nov. 4 will be the economy, specifically what effect the depressed housing market is having on the marriages of husband-and-wife real estate agent teams.
October 2, 2008
Economic crisis: Totally solved
With the financial world turned upside down, the House yet to vote on a government bailout and the U.S. now 95 percent owned by China, it seemed like a good time for another installment of "Ask the Man Who Doesn't Understand the Economy."
September 4, 2008
Dear celebs: Back away from Barack
CHECK IT OUT: Mark Bazer hosts The Interview Show this Friday at 6:30 p.m. at The Hideout (1354 W. Wabansia). $5. His guests are saxophonist Frank Catalano, hip-hop poet Kevin Coval and Blewt! creative director Steve Gadlin.
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 7, 2008
Smoggy vision of Summer Games
In a rousing display of global unity as well as solidarity with China, the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics will commence, sources tell me, with one athlete from every participating country opening a Chinese takeout container filled with smog from his or her homeland. Then, 2,008 doves, in a mass bird protest the likes of which has never been seen, will refuse to be released into the air.
July 24, 2008
A timeless romance—carved into a sidewalk
IRIS I LOVE YOU
July 10, 2008
You don't mess with the Bazer
My father waited 34 years to tell me the news.