Billed as Chicago's shortest sports columnist, Whizzer was born and raised in Chicago and learned at a very young age how to 1) shake hands, 2) chug a beer and 3) handicap NFL games, but not all at the same time.

He did not attend high school or college but instead chose to travel abroad to exotic locales, getting as far as Oak Park before realizing he actually hates traveling. I mean, if you want "exotic," stay home, order Thai food and watch the Discovery Channel.

He currently resides in Chicago and his RedEye duties include:
-Canine Lines, nine riffs on the day in sports
-NFL predictions each Friday in the fall

He's the only cartoon in Five on Five. But what he really wants to do is direct.

E-mail Whizzer at redeyesports@tribune.com

Recent Columns:

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December 22, 2008
Chill out
1. Freezy does it

December 22, 2008
Bye bye, Bears
1. Black and blues

December 22, 2008
Curses
1. Just as planned

December 1, 2008
No place like dome
1. Sent packing

November 3, 2008
Rex in effect
1. Feel-good story

October 27, 2008
Me-oww!
1. Touche

October 7, 2008
Bust
1. Dear Fat Lady

September 29, 2008
Biggest. Game. Ever
1. Just saying

September 24, 2008
Beers and jeers
1.Dry humor

September 11, 2008
Zero to hero
1. The Big Zero